Illness and the Pandemic

  • Posted on July 31, 2022 at 12:18 pm

Moving was life changing. I went through 25 years of accumulated stuff from living in Sturgis, 23 at the same home!  I gave things away. I threw things away. I delve through a lifetime of stuff trying to weed out the unnecessary, only to fail a bit because I still have boxes three years later sitting unopened in my garage. So, if you are planning on moving, get rid of more than you are planning.  Moving gave me a clean slate with my home. I could set up each room however I chose not worrying about who I had to please…because I only had to please myself!

I love my new home. I spent a lot fixing up things that needed to be done from roofing, venting, electrical, and fireplace issues. Then I settled into my new home only to find myself moved and in the middle of a pandemic living in a beautiful environment where I didn’t really know anybody. Thankfully, I do have family an hour or so away which kept me sane.

I am used to being by myself. I tend to be a solitary, loner in many ways. I enjoy being alone and finding ways to be creative. I like to make art and write. Drawing, painting, and working with clay are really my loves. I can get lost in time in my own brain which is helpful when faced with the confines of a pandemic. I started using Instacart for shopping and now I prefer it. I really don’t care for grocery shopping as it’s highly overrated!  

In June, I lost a good friend. Ellen died in her sleep. She was only 58 and I will never understand how a healthy person just doesn’t wake up one day. It has been a tragedy that has haunted me for these past two years. She was an amazing person and touched so many people. I worked with her at school. I, of course, was an art teacher and she was a gifted math teacher. My last year teaching, we worked in a group together on some special projects for school. I am so thankful I was in her group. We had a lot of fun in our brainstorming sessions.  Ellen went on a spur of the moment trip with me to look at the house I ended up buying. I had visions of her eventually visiting me on the lake. It never happened. The pandemic happened and then she died. Her death caused me great personal stress. I immediately started having issues, which I tried to deny. I had to go and rest during the day. I felt out of sorts. I tried to walk to the dock and felt dizzy and had to stop and catch myself. In the water, I felt a swirling sensation, like I was going to fall. I thought it was just old age, but it was so much more.

In July, I became deathly ill. Of course, I just thought I would get better. I wasn’t around anyone so I knew it wasn’t Covid. My mail lady even sent the police to check on me because I hadn’t picked up my mail in days. The police came to my dining room window. I had to go down from my bed to see them. I told them I was fine. They said they could get me an ambulance. I said I thought I was getting better. I wasn’t. My sister wanted me to go in. I was resistant. I never doctored much….like next to never. I had only gone once a few years before to the emergency room and it was in the middle of the night and I thought my head was going to explode. I was always told and learned to “tough it out.” There was no toughing this one out. After  listening to my sister, I finally went to the hospital thanks to my brother taking me. I ended up having a complete blockage and a hernia. I spent 10 days in the hospital and had a small section of my intestine removed. It was truly a touch and go time. I was fortunate to finally get the care I needed. I don’t know how much longer I would have lasted with necrotic tissue in my intestines.

Surviving my illness caused me to reevaluate my life. My son came home to help me and it was an eye opener for him. He had never seen his mom in such horrible shape. He was both scared but also angry. Angry because I let myself get to this place. I get that now. I didn’t then. The illness became a blessing in disguise. While in the hospital, they also discovered I have Afib which explains the issues I was having after Ellen died. The symptoms were all part of the Afib diagnosis. Afib is having an abnormal heartbeat, a beat that is not in sinus rhythm. It causes many symptoms including fatigue and dizziness. This diagnosis as well as the hernia and blockage made me realize I needed to change my lifestyle. I began a challenge for myself. I wanted to get healthier. In my next writing, I will tell how I did this and what I am currently doing. I am still amazed at what I have accomplished but there is always more to come, so stay tuned!

My kitchen with Ellen looking at the home I eventually bought!
Just a few of the countless boxes I moved!
A glimpse of my new home!

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