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Thinking About Ariel Castro, Women, and Equality

  • Posted on August 2, 2013 at 4:20 pm
Woman of Liberty

Woman of Liberty

Yesterday I watched Ariel Castro claim that he is not a monster, that the sex he had with his victims was mostly consensual, and that he isn’t a violent person.  It is not in his character.  When I heard the word character, I could not believe that he could even speak about it.  What could he possibly know about character?  He wanted us to believe that his problem is a compulsion perhaps for sex.  However, I don’t equate rape with sex, so I had a hard time following his form of logic.  I wasn’t planning on writing about this topic as he repulses me, but I think there is a bigger issue in our nation where women are concerned.  I don’t know the name of the woman on the talk show I was watching on MSNBC yesterday but she was upset that Castro hadn’t been tried for civil rights violations.  She talked about the issue of human trafficking and the fact that these women had their civil rights violated for years.  She said that he targeted women, which indeed made it a civil rights violation.

From my point of view, I have concerns not just about this case, but also with the treatment of women throughout our country and of course the world.  Granted Ariel Castro is a deranged person but he felt that he had the right to do what he wanted with these women.  He said his wife would argue with him and he implied that because she touched him first that he had the right to put her in her place.  Something in his makeup, and I think in the way women are treated by many in our country, made him believe he could do what he wanted with these women, including his wife.

Our society, no matter how much we scream and protest about women’s issues and rights, is still patriarchal.  As a country, I believe we look to men for the answers and give them undo regard when it comes to major decisions whether it is at the local, state, or federal level.  We excuse their behaviors, no matter how crude they are, and we still have that “boys will be boys” attitude ingrained in our minds.  I see this even in school when I am teaching.  I don’t have that attitude but it is there for many.   When I tell some boys to clean up in art class, I still have some boys telling me “That’s women’s work.”   In politics, we have many men that exhibit disrespectful behavior to women on a regular basis.  On the far right wing, there is a constant effort to discount women’s opinions to the point of forcing them to have a vaginal probe if they mutter the word “abortion.”  On the left, we still have to hear about Bill Clinton’s Monica moment in regards to whether Hillary is going to run for the presidency.  The woman that sticks by her man, like Anthony Weiner’s wife, is marginalized as though she isn’t thinking clearly and she has been coerced into accepting her fate.  Maybe she has and maybe we don’t know what really goes on in these relationships.  In these cases, the woman is made to be an appendage to the man, just another “helpmate” for the big daddy that is the boss in the relationship.  In entertainment news, we recently discovered that Simon Cowell is going to be a daddy.  The woman involved is a “gold digger” and immoral because she is still married to her husband.  The last I knew, it takes two to make a baby.  We aren’t hearing what a slut Simon is, it is all about his girlfriend.

The point I am trying to make is that we and I think both men and women, still have different standards for the two sexes.  I received an email last night from Credo action to sign a petition.  The petition deals with the fact that a number of colleges and universities across the country don’t call rape, rape.  It is referred to as nonconsensual sex.  This must be similar to the Republican that talked about forcible rape and rape as though they were two different things.  I don’t know how else to say it but rape is rape.  Women are continually demeaned when their voices are not heard and they are treated like a dog getting their heads patted when dealing with serious issues.

The other day I was talking to my sister and I told her about this video I saw which I assumed was staged but was funny.  A person was showing the excitement his cat had for him after he was gone for six months.  Now we all have witnessed the excitement our dogs show us after even very brief periods away from us.  Cats, however, are a whole another being.  I have two cats and one greets me and the other hides.  I have a dog and he’s always anxious to see me.  The reason I bring this up is that I jokingly referred to women as being like dogs and men as being like cats.  However, I think there is a bit of truth to this.  Men can take or leave us as women.  Much like a cat, they are used to being pampered.  They are used to being at the top of the food chain in respect, expectations, and affection.  They expect women to care for them and love them.  They have expectations of what they want and how they are going to get it.  Women on the other hand are starved for affection and will do just about anything to get that pat on the head, just like a dog.  They will jump through hoops to make sure their man is taken care of and are afraid that someone may see them as not being a good caretaker.  Women nurture and when they don’t everyone notices it!  Women have expectations but they often will subjugate their desires for their mate’s desires.  Obviously, there are exceptions but from my point of view, women are always last.

Now you could say that I have a unique way of looking at things because I grew up with ten brothers and I admit this, but I have noticed many things over the years.  We women were the last to get the right to vote!  Slavery was finally ended and blacks could vote but women were still chained to the concept that they were less than a man.  One of my brothers always talks about the Constitution and I just have to laugh because from my point of view, the Constitution is a living document that needs to change and grow as time changes.  So many politicians want everything to stay the same, don’t rock the boat, and just keep the status quo.  If we do this, half of society would never count for anything.  It still irks me that we could never get the equal rights amendment passed.  Those simple words of equality are very scary to some people.

We live in a time of potential great knowledge for all people.  The internet has opened the doors and the minds of anyone that is willing to learn.  Sure sometimes you have to sift through many websites to find the truth about something, but in all reality if you want to learn about any issue or how to do something the internet is a terrific resource.  I think the more people are educated the more we are apt to all be treated equally in society.  I have found the internet a place where I can discuss issues with other women that are interested in politics.  With this blog, I have an opportunity to get others to think about things.  None of us would have known about the small town in Ohio where high school boys raped a girl and nobody seemed to care until anonymous bloggers got involved.  Today I want people thinking about women and their place in the world.  Women are more than just nurturing helpmates for men.  I think until they are taken more seriously, women will continue to see much physical, social, and emotional abuse by men that think they can have what they want when they want it.  Women need to stand up and make things clear to those men that abuse.  Men that are “evolved” need to help move this issue along.  The women that are abused are their mothers, daughters, and sisters.  If we want to stop people like Ariel Castro, we as a society, have to make sure that little boys grow up respecting little girls and that gender roles are not so defined that women think they are less than men and are willing to accept less pay, less love, and less worth.

I’m a humanist! What are the Democrats and Republicans? Oh, yeah Corporatist!

  • Posted on November 10, 2010 at 9:26 pm

Most wars look a lot like this to me! If it isn't religion, it's oil or some other mineral.

It’s a week after the midterm elections and after hearing all of the Monday morning quarterbacks tell us play by play how the Democrats got it wrong and some how magically the Republicans got it right, I feel a need to express myself.  I heard for the umpteenth time today Joe Scarborough proclaim on “Morning Joe” that we are a center, right nation and Barack Obama doesn’t understand that.  He went on and on today about how so many Democratic senators have come to him and expressed their displeasure with Barack Obama.  The part that I am frustrated about is that center, right nation proclamation.  I, for one, have never had any real political representation in my entire life.  That’s hard to believe since I am fifty five years old, but it is true!  I have never had the real opportunity to vote in any election other than a primary for the person that I truly think will best represent me, my beliefs and values and, who for that matter, be best for the country.

I think conservatives have been over represented all of my life and in recent years the far right has had the ability to control much that goes on in politics.  I’m tired of the politics of fear and control.  I’m tired of politicians that talk about gays and lesbian as though they are some crazy creature from some netherworld.  I’m tired of politicians that talk religion and spew all kinds of morality issues and then run off to Argentina to have an affair like Governor Mark Sanford.  I’m tired of politicians that claim to follow the constitution but do everything they can to inhibit it by stomping on the rights of others.

I used to say I am a yellow dog Democrat.  I have also said I’m liberal.  However I am liberal only to a point, as I am liberal on issues but personally quite conservative.  These are labels that we assign to ourselves.  I really think I’m what I would refer to as a humanist.  I really believe in an education for everyone that includes free college to all that qualify and want to go.  I believe in the humanities and an approach in life that includes studying the human condition and the arts.  I am a woman and because of it I feel woefully underrepresented in politics.  We, as women, are a bit more than half of the population but we virtually run nothing when it comes to our national politics.  I am religious, but I don’t want religion to be mixed with politics.  I don’t believe in my tax dollars going to “faith” based initiatives.  I don’t believe in my tax dollars going to any form of private education either.  I definitely want less money going to defense and more money going to education.  I believe that in the pursuit of happiness we all should have health care, not health insurance, but health care.  No one should lose their home over an illness.  I believe in the common good of all, not the common good of the corporations or the rich and powerful.  I believe if you are at the top you owe it to your country to put your hand out and lift up those that are at the bottom!

Some may think I am an idealist but I am not.  I am a realist that believes in humans, not things!  I believe in kindness, not hatred.  I believe in the power of love and what it can do to transform people and even a nation.  It seems to me that there isn’t much real love going on in Washington D.C.  The two parties cannot even have a civil discussion unless it’s after hours.  From all appearances they don’t look like they care too much for each other.  However, I think that is a scam played out on the American people, so they don’t have to really get much done.  They can scream and holler and roll their eyes at each other for the cameras and never accomplish much of anything for the people.  It’s exhausting how little for the people, the masses, is really accomplished by either party.

I do understand the frustration people have and the many reasons they don’t vote.  Many don’t feel it really matters.  I’m starting to feel much the same way.  Why does it matter who we vote for when the new stuff smells and looks a lot like the old stuff?

As I said the new boss is much like the old boss.  President Obama decided to pursue much of the same policies of President Bush which is kind of mind boggling.  We are still involved in two wars, one of which was totally a war of choice and there will be no way we will pursue anyone in the past administration for any kind of crime or misconduct.  Oh, no we’re better than that.  Hearing President Bush recently explaining himself has left me breathless.  I feel like Ricky Ricardo when he’d say to Lucy, “Lucy, you got a lot explaining to do!”  President Bush continues to spread his lies about the war and he is treated with such respect about it all that it’s hard to understand where that line is between Democrats and Republicans and truth telling and lies.  The American people are expected to listen to his lies and take them as truth.  This is his truth which is water boarding is okay because some lawyer told him it was okay.  Could this have been his appointed friend, John Ashcroft?

http://news.findlaw.com/wp/docs/torture/jash20102ltr.html

In this letter I find an awful lot of that squirm test.  We will wiggle here and there and frankly do whatever the hell we want to do because we are the United States of America.  We aren’t bound by any Geneva Convention are we?  Aren’t we better than this?  Aren’t we part of the human race?  What about President Obama?  He ignores all of this.  Even though the Republicans will be dragging out a daily hearing on everything from Obama’s birth certificate to Nancy’s plane, rest assured he will do nothing.

However, he has brought out his “Deficit Panel” and surprise, surprise, the cuts are coming and their not for the wealthy!  Could this be the “Death” panel Sarah Palin kept talking about?  Oh, dear me, they will cut social security, Medicare, Pentagon (which has so much waste who cares) and Middle-class tax breaks.  Imagine that!  You know when Obama appointed Erskine Bowles and Alan Simpson as co-chairmen on the deficit commission we shouldn’t be surprised.  Here is a direct quote from Simpson, “And yes, I’ve made some plenty smart cracks about people on Social Security who milk it to the last degree. You know ’em too. It’s the same with any system in America. We’ve reached a point now where it’s like a milk cow with 310 million tits! Call when you get honest work!” His response was to a Huffington Post blogger.  This was made this August.  Personally, I don’t think this man should have anything to do with the future of Social Security.  President Obama let him stay on because this is part of the plan.

Remember when Representative Alan Grayson said that Republicans want you to die quickly if you get sick?  That was his response to the health care debate.  It seems like the same thing could be said of social security.  They want you to pay into it all of your life and die before you can use it!  None of this will concern the wealthy.  They don’t even need Social Security.  However, most people in the United States count on their Social Security.  For some people, that is all they have to look forward to with low paying jobs.

I said earlier that I have never truly been represented in my entire life by any politician.  The truth is that none of us have been represented.  Lobbyists and corporations are the only ones that get representation.  Back in the seventies when I was a young woman I really thought we had come a long way, but of course now I know that was all bullshit.  We are like an under developed nation when it comes to women in politics at the national level.  We may have some women governors and their may be state representatives but anyone would be hard pressed to name ten women at the national level in politics.  That is just unbelievable.  We have made a giant leap backwards with politics in its current state.  Women have suffered the most losses but the American people are the real losers.  We have no choice in our politics and we are told constantly what we believe.  However, the media doesn’t know me or you.  They feed us the lines they want us to talk to our friends about.  We are played constantly and most people are too stupid to even feel that voice of propaganda.  Our election system is messed up with these two corrupt parties and it looks like I’ll never get the representation I desire and deserve and you won’t either!

Women in Politics and What’s in the Fridge?

  • Posted on March 6, 2010 at 2:22 pm

How to Keep People From Stealing Your Food at Work

I was having lunch with a couple teachers in the teacher work room.  Another male teacher walked in took bottled water out of a bag in the bottom of the fridge and said, “I guess it’s unclaimed, so I claim it.”  This made me think about the differences between men and women.  There was another female teacher there and I said to her, “You would never take anything out of the fridge that didn’t belong to you, right?”  She said, “Of course not.”  So the other male teachers in the room pointed out that if something has been in there a long time and it’s unused, they would all eat it.  I told them, “So that’s why I was losing my bottled water a couple years ago.  I now drink it at room temperature and keep in my office.”  What this discussion meant for me was there is a vast difference between men and women and what they think about their place in the world.

The men felt entitled to take whatever was in the fridge as long as it had been unclaimed for awhile.  It almost sounded like they look in the fridge daily and make a mental note of what’s been in there for awhile.  Women on the other hand would never take somebody else’s food for several reasons.  One, they think it’s stealing.  They know it doesn’t belong to them and they don’t feel “entitled” to it.  Two, they don’t know what’s in it, who has touched it or how old it is and finally there is that whole germ phobia thing!

All of this made me think about men, women, politics and living.  Living with ten brothers I know the women in our family took second place at best.  The men always came first in everything.  When my oldest brother brought his future wife home she couldn’t believe all of the baked goods my mom had laid out on the counter tops.  She wondered what they were all for.  She thought maybe a bake sale or something.  By the end of the night she knew it was for all those boys.  They ate until the cows came home, all kinds of pies, bread, kolaches, all of it was gone.  My mother was a saint cooking for them.  When the boys were young we lived on a farm and they worked out in the barn.  My older sisters worked in the house trying to keep it clean with all those boys.  One day my parents were gone and my older sister Colleen was in charge.  She had just washed the kitchen floor and Paul, who was younger than my sister came in with his dirty boots from the barn.  She told him not to walk on her drying kitchen floor as she had just mopped it.  He ignored her as men are apt to do and walked on it any way.  Colleen took a broom and cracked him on the head with it.  I think she thought that was the only way to knock some sense into him.  I think the broom broke but that defiance that my brother showed came out in many ways from the males in our household.  One of the boys was five, who will remain nameless to protect him from adult embarrassment, just in case he finds this blog, was too lazy to go inside to take off all of his snow equipment; you know the old snow suit, etc.  So, he would soil his pants so his older sisters would have to clean him up when he came in from playing.  Luckily for me I was the youngest in the family.  He also had the nerve to tell mom that he would kick in the china hutch glass if he couldn’t have his way.  He didn’t get his way and the glass was gone.  None of us girls would ever have acted that way.  Now plenty of those ten boys would never have done that either but it’s interesting that some boys grow into men that feel “entitled” to certain things that don’t necessarily belong to them.

My brothers as youngsters and even as adults have never shown great respect for their sisters.  I don’t know why.  I just know that I have been disrespected in many ways by them over the years, not all of them, but a lot of them.  I don’t think they are so different from most men.  Some men from a younger generation that are growing up today may be different.  They help out in the house and all of that but from my stand point I still see them as thinking certain things can belong to them after a certain amount of time.  You know if it’s unclaimed or something.  I think when boys are young the whole world revolves around them and they grow up thinking that the world is their oyster for them to pluck whatever they want from it.  Women on the other hand are usually brought up to nurture.  We don’t think about our needs like most men do so it affects our choices.  The effect of all of this is that women do not feel that they are entitled to anything that they don’t work for themselves.

If you think back to the 2008 election many of us saw the bullying of both Hillary Clinton and Sarah Palin.  Both of these women seem to make men a little bit crazy.  I can’t quite figure out why.  Even though their basic politics are different, they are both strong women that carry themselves in a confident way.  They both are competent politicians that have proven records of that competency whether you agree with them or not.  So why were they able to be bullied by the press and the other politicians?  Why in this age was this allowed?  I’m still scratching my head over it but I have a better understanding after the male teachers were able to take what they wanted from the fridge and justify doing so.

I think that male politicians will take what they want from the election because they feel entitled to it.  Who is this woman, you know Hillary or Sarah, who so daringly tried to take what rightfully, belongs to them?  She’s just a woman.  Men know the difference because they have been entitled all of their lives.  When Hillary Clinton thought she could run for the office of the president she didn’t count on the male “club” of senators and congressmen that secretly went to Barack to get him to run.  She wasn’t part of that male club so no matter what kind of networking she was used to she could not possibly be part of that club.  The club allowed a few women in only because they could “control” them.  One that comes to mind is Claire McCaskill who openly admitted to supporting Barack because her teenage children wanted her to do so.  I remember my teenage son wanting me to do a lot of stuff, you know because everyone else is doing it.  I was a real spoil sport as a parent!  This boy’s “club” used their powerful influence to make Barack president.  They didn’t want a woman and they surely didn’t want Hillary Clinton.  They allowed Barack Obama and his cohorts to treat Hillary with much disrespect by using everything from music to racism.  Nobody screamed, “Foul!”  On the other hand Barack could do anything he wanted from playing foul music about “bitches”; you know that was secretly Hillary, to hanging out with Reverend Wright to having Bill Ayers host his first fund raiser for getting into politics.  Nobody cared because “boys will be boys”.  That attitude has let many men stay in politics when women can’t even get their shoe through the door.

After the primary and Sarah Palin was brought on the scene much energy was spent trying destroy her character.  Men were scared of this woman that could draw crowds bigger than Obama.  She was made into a cartoon figure.  Men acted like they would like sleeping with her but wouldn’t want to have her as Vice President.  She was totally disrespected by the media and the other male politicians and even the people John McCain supplied on her staff.  Is there any wonder why more women aren’t in this dirty game of politics?  Personally, I think our country is sick of the same old politicians and maybe it’s time to get some women in that don’t necessarily feel like they are entitled to everything they see.  Maybe more women of the caliber of Hillary and Sarah would think twice about spending my money because they wouldn’t feel entitled to it.  I’m just thinking out loud here.  The men have been running the show for years whether they be Democrats or Republicans and frankly I don’t think they’re doing all that well.  I would love to see more women in politics.  I know they will think twice before they get us into some stupid war and they’ll think twice before they send my kid to war or your kid to war.  They will also think twice before they waste my money on some stupid program that some lobbyist dreamed up.  They will do this because they don’t feel entitled to anything they see in the fridge.  No, women will think twice before they grab anything free out of our fridge.  That’s the kind of person I want to see in politics!